dust off my jeans.

What is really very interesting is how second semester differs from the first. Classes are harder, but the semester itself is shorter. It it sunny here. Though I feel like I haven’t seen my friends for days, my neighbors are slowly becoming strangers.

We are like a family here. We have dinner together, we share the high and low points of our days, and in these first couple weeks I miss them so much. Everyone is managing a schedule, I forgot to go to the gym today, for example. And things that used to make me smile, like Fridays, kittens, Chanel shoes, just reminds me of Chicago.

Having friends in college is important, and especially at Chick U, girlfriends are WHO YOU HAVE. They hold your hand when you cry, your hair back when you vom, your laughter with their grace, and your ear with their advice. So it hurts not seeing them, it’s like for the second time since September you are losing a family.

Today we talked about Exile. The art of exile is the fear of abandonment, even though it is you who leaves. I think that is what has been keeping me in an odd mood. That somewhere along this road I will lose my way, be lost, forget, be forgotten. Of course everyone I talk to about it reassures me that this is impossible. Impossible maybe, but it’s not that hard. All I can do is dust off my jeans (I even miss the flour covered pants I would carry home after a 10 hour shift at the bakery) and open my books, searching for something familiar.

So far, I’ve got Exile.